I saw last night's entry and I feel I should say something to lighten the mood. Don't be angry with me, Undergrounders, I am not disregarding or ignoring what happened yesterday. I will not look at the memory-- although I know a few of you will hate me for that-- because I don't feel it's my role to do so. Instead, I will shed some light on it, because there is no reason for us to stumble around in that awful darkness, simply because we had it shoved upon us once again. At the risk of sounding harsh, we do not have the luxury of self-pity. We do not have the luxury of allowing ourselves to mourn and be mired in the aftermath of such an event. We do not have the luxury of melancholy! We must instead force ourselves to stand up, and turn our faces to the sun, walking towards the light even if our very bones are tired... because every single step we take, is another step away from the pain, from the Tar-blackened abyss. I'm not saying it isn't there. I'm just saying we have no reason to linger by it.
Okay. First things first.
What I know is that was a severe hack last night, that both David and Jeremiah were strongly traumatized by. All three of the Tar girls were involved (Julie, Missy, and Bridget), and Julie apparently used everything in her arsenal against us.
I will say no more as I know we are loathe to record these things, and it would be best for the fronters to simply forget it and move on.
Sugar is shouting at me. "The ones she attacked can't just forget it!" Perhaps not, no. But they CAN heal.
"Can you?" She asks. I want to say yes. That is the truth. But I know that these hacks would not be happening if we were truly healed completely.
Anyway. Let's get to the point.
Here's a quote from the GFP just now.
"Impossible, hard, difficult. These are just excuses to keep yourself from conquering your most challenging thoughts. They do not exist.You create them, just as you create your most lovely, perfect, rewarding moments."
That is true and we ALL know it. Can we please go back to living that way?
I don't remember 2011, but I am aware of 2011. I know that, somehow, during that year, headspace existed in total unity and harmony, DESPITE the Tar still existing, DESPITE the continuation of hacks. In 2011, the entire System was colored by peace and love and unity, until for some reason, it began to collapse in early 2012. That collapse has continued until now, with several massive destructive blows dealt this year, and now look at us. Most of us are dead, the few that are left are racked by agony and terror, there is disconnection between us all, we have forgotten how to hope. What happened?
"Human emotions are meant to FLOW, they are not meant to be anchored and that is what the old 3d earth reality taught deeply."
Very relevant to us, obviously. Perhaps this is why we lost so many.
But you see, we cannot hold on to these things!
"Our thoughts of fear are merely a release of old, outmoded consciousness vibrations that are falling away now... understand that old viewpoints and conditioned ideas of reality may require mental readjustments, but this is quickly done if we just allow ourselves to be and be with what is."
I know that's still hard for some of you. But it is possible. We've done it before. We can do it again now.
That's what I'm trying to say here.
Last night, there is one thing I want to emphasize. Julie used her entire potential against us. And guess what? If she had done that, say, three years ago, we'd probably be dead right now. But last night, we got out of it with significantly less damage than before. Yes, two of us still suffered terribly, but at least they were not killed. At least it was not twenty of us. You see what I mean? Julie did EVERYTHING she could, and it did LESS than it ever had before. Here we were, fearing she had somehow grown in power. But she is struggling to harm us now.
From what I am aware, she attempted forced body control, and failed. She had to push the body into near-unconsciousness before she could even get it to move at her behest. But she was being BLOCKED from fronting even then, although I am aware that she did try? Still, she was kicked out. Her psychological terrorism is no longer being allowed, not at all. "But she DID succeed in hacking us," you say. I know nothing of that event, but I do know she tried TWICE, and the second time WE WON. That was the more brutal, direct attempt, and somehow we still managed to kick her out completely, at the last second admittedly, and save ourselves from further terror.
This is too many words. Listen.
Point is, Julie has no true power over us, at ALL. Julie is utterly powerless in the big picture. So is the Tar. Why? Because their power is corrupt. It is not true. They hijack and use energy that was never meant to be wielded so cruelly. It is stolen power, unrighteous power, and it will not be allowed to continue. So have faith in that, find hope in that. It is true, I assure you.
Secondly. WE MUST DO OUR PART.
As I said, we do not have the luxury of melancholy. We MUST hold fast to love and joy even now, in whatever ways we can. To David and Jeremiah, this is not impossible for you. Heal, yes, and acknowledge any pain you need to work through here. But do not let yourself get bogged down in hatred, or vengeance, or crippling fear. Realize that those things will pass. There is something better, beyond. Find your friends, who care. Hold on to that. Understand that nothing that Julie does to you, nothing that ANYONE does to you, no amount of pain and terror can EVER damage what you truly are. Think about it. We are all bound to the Spectrum here. We are all part of this great inner world, just as much as it is a part of us. And, despite what we have been fooled into thinking, this inner world of ours is not a cruel one. Headspace is benevolent, it consists of nothing but good, it exists to help us heal and grow. ONLY the Tar perpetuates suffering!!
So remember that, in times like this. Realize that the trauma of the past is in the past now. And when it is in the present, remember that it is not all there is. Do not give up. Do not give in to that fear. Remember the TRUTH of our lives, what we were born from and continue to live for, and AFFIRM THAT.
Laurie remembers. Ask her, if you have doubts. Laurie knows, when we still visited the Blood Lotus Cathedral, how powerful the light in our hearts is. She knows that better than anyone else here, perhaps. She, who was once a blood-spattered warrior, and is now a peacemaker and guide, understands that the Tar is ultimately powerless. It cannot harm her. And truthfully, it cannot harm us either, not permanently, although passing damage does hurt.
If you can find no hope in anything else, turn to the Spectrum itself. Feel what it is. See how every single color within it shines in harmony. Any corruption of it will fade, as it is not true. The same applies to you. You CAN heal, and you WILL heal, because the Tar is NOT stronger than you, nor will it ever be, for we are made of truer stuff than it.
Some things have to be believed to be seen they say. Believe in your own strength, and you will realize it has only been hidden from you. It has never been lost, it can never be taken from you. Have faith, and cherish hope, for no good thing ever dies.
Love, love is the key, always. Love, faith, hope, joy, courage, compassion, forgiveness, truth. Hold on to these things always, wherever you may find them. Do not underestimate them. Look within your hearts and you will know, even when your mind is troubled.
Do not let fear hold you down, as that is what the Tar needs to survive.
Do you see? Take your power back! Give nothing to the Tar. It seeks only ruin, destruction, despair. Refuse it that. It will try to trap you, to enslave you, but it can only do that if you allow fear to overtake you. Refuse it that!
When we are able to stand our ground in truth, without allowing ourselves to be overcome by its games, the Tar will fade away, forever. This I can guarantee. Raise your vibration, as they say. Shine so brightly that you burn through the smog and illusion. When we stop feeding this pitiful tarry being, consciously or unconsciously, it will disappear.
We all know, now, that even darkness is no enemy of ours. Shadows can heal, and the night sky is full of stars. Look to the Underground, look to Infinitii, and see how life and light and love can be found even in that darkest of energies. Then look to the Tar, and see its incompleteness, its dishonesty, its falseness. Do you understand?
Scars only linger on our skin. Our souls are forever untouched. And no amount of stolen blood will ever poison our hearts.
Bottom line: ultimately, we are all okay.
Even you, David, although now you may feel like little more than a scared and helpless child. I assure you, you are not helpless, and you will not be scared forever. You will heal, and we will be here for you always. But remember, you have power too. You need not wait for others. There is just as much strength and light within you as there is within any one of us. Remember, you are just as vital a part of this System as your friends are. Have no fear, even if you are afraid. They are two very different things, survival and terror. Survive, always survive, but do not be consumed by fear. We live in a blessedly strange world, remember. There is always hope for you, and always will be.
And Jeremiah, you who sacrifice yourself for the sake of the little ones, look at your fears. Realize that in them, you allow yourself to be further damaged. Your terror is understandable, but it is misaligned. What does fear accomplish? Yes, survive, just as David must, but replace your fear with courage, and faith. Even if they try to harm you, even if they succeed, remember what you know to be true. Their victories are not true victories; they are shallow and will fade into nothingness. This is because they ultimately accomplish nothing of lasting consequence. Yes, your wounds will heal too. You can be happy, and so you will be, if you hold on to it. Believe in it. There is so much more to life than pain, even in the very face of it. Count how many moments you are safe, and treasure them. Then realize that you are always safe in the end. All of you, even the ones you protect. Continue to guard them, but do not live in paranoia. Take your power back. Live.
This goes for all of us. Hold on to this. Laurie, remind those who forget. You know this is your deeper role.
Here, two quotes from An Acceptable Time.
"There are powers of love in the universe, and as long as you respond with love, they'll help you."
"An icon... didn't stop bad things from happening... An icon is not meant to be an idol. Just a reminder that love is greater than hate."
Fear not. Think not of battles to be won, for victory was always, and will always be, ours.